Establishing Healthy Routines With Your Family
Structure plays a key role听in helping听办颈诲蝉听understand听and set听schedules and听expectations, and approach uncertain times with more flexibility. That鈥檚 why so many families have听been struggling听throughout the pandemic,听as they听face听disrupted听school听and home听schedules.听听听
Routines aren鈥檛 just for kids, explains Stephanie Rohrig, Ph.D., assistant attending psychologist at听NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital and instructor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at 富二代成版人app (WCM).听
鈥Whole听families can struggle with unpredictability--when schools听may be听closed one day听and open the next, or听when听one child is home听and听another may be attending听school in person,鈥澨Dr. Rohrig听says. 鈥It鈥檚 hard when it鈥檚 out of our control, and听those听day-to-day changes may have ripple effects that affect parents鈥櫶ability to听work.听It can be a stress for the entire family.鈥听
Dr. Rohrig听suggests听ways families can adapt and cope听together.听
Normalize stress听听
鈥淲hen we normalize things, it validates the emotions we鈥檙e experiencing,鈥 she says.听鈥We do this be reminding ourselves听of the reasons why we鈥檙e feeling a certain emotion.听That can help听reduce stress,听and we can give ourselves a break, and not be hard on ourselves for feeling overwhelmed or frustrated.鈥听
She adds that听it鈥檚听helpful听to remember that听many families听are听in the same boat,听and that difficult feelings make sense during this unprecedented time.听
Reach out听
It鈥檚 also important for parents to ask for help, wherever that help exists.听Families听that听have nearby friends or family听can seek support there, Dr. Rohrig explains.听Additional community听resources often听can be found听via听day care centers, schools,听and听houses of worship,听for example, even though many have moved from in-person to online support.听
Control听鈥the听controllables.鈥听听
鈥淚 encourage families to try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, whether school is in person or remote,鈥 she says. 鈥Sometimes a pleasant activity in the morning or evening--taking a walk, reading a book, or listening to music--can set an organized, positive tone.鈥听听
The听听at听富二代成版人app听Medicine听also听helps families with听parent-child interaction therapy听(PCIT,听McNeil & Hembree-Kigin, 2010).听For many families, that can include听a recommendation for parents to devote (at least) five minutes of special time with each of their children each day.听听
鈥We can put the phone aside and let dinner sit: It鈥檚听scientifically proven听(Eisenstadt et al., 1993)听to improve rapport and behavior when parents are tending to their children for those five minutes,鈥 Dr. Rohrig says.听鈥淛ust talking about听and doing听what your children听are听interested in can have a big impact on听their听behavior,听and the parent-child relationship.鈥
Visuals can help听
Some children respond well to school-style visuals鈥攁n actual, posted听schedule鈥攕o they know what the day will bring.听
鈥Some families like to use a large calendar or shared family white board to stay organized,鈥 Dr. Rohrig adds. 鈥淎s kids get older, that can change to a shared calendar app.鈥听
Catch and reframe thoughts听
Still, despite听our听best efforts at family routines and organization, anxiety听can surface. When that happens, Dr. Rohrig听recommends a three-pronged approach:听check the facts;听understand how our thoughts make听us feel;听and听try to听reframe听them.听听
鈥淥ften we鈥檒l have anxious thoughts that are not always accurate鈥攕ometimes we look at worst-case scenarios,鈥 Dr. Rohrig says. 鈥淏ut we can learn to catch and reframe those thoughts.听For example,听we can reframe worried thoughts about the long-term impact of听this pandemic on our kids听by听focusing on the resilience and听obstacles听they鈥檝e overcome so far.鈥听
Dr. Rohrig also听reminds听families听that there鈥檚 hope听in remembering the听temporary nature听of听the pandemic听and the disruptions it causes.听Second,听we should remember听our inner strength.听
鈥淲e all have a source of resilience. People have adapted effectively, if not happily,鈥 she concludes.听鈥淲e are moving forward in the face of difficult moments鈥攊t鈥檚 important to look at how far we鈥檝e come, and to know that we can continue to push forward through this really hard time.鈥听
Appendix
Eisenstadt, T. H., Eyberg, S., McNeil, C. B., Newcomb, K., & Funderburk, B. (1993). Parent-child interaction therapy with behavior problem children: Relative effectiveness of two stages and overall treatment outcome.鈥Journal of clinical child psychology,鈥22(1), 42-51.听听
McNeil, C. B., & Hembree-Kigin, T. L. (2010).鈥Parent-child interaction therapy. Springer Science & Business听Media.听